Is that me? Is that you? Is that your mother, sister, cousin or the lady in your life? Would you say that all or most of the Black women you know can be described using most of those adjectives? Well I can’t. Yet every time I browse the television or the blogosphere there is some special, some article or youtube clip declaring why Black women are single and why our men don’t want us. It’s as if this topic will not go away. Yes, I’ve touched on this somewhat before but months later it’s still news. I find it odd that in a society where hot news has a life span of no more than a week, this Black woman bashing seems to be on eternal life status. I find it to be very damaging and divisive. Both Black men and women have had a difficult time with the media but now they seem to be on a mission to pull us even further apart. They opened up the package and set “The Blame Game” on our tables. They’re peeking around the corner to see if we’ll take the bait and…of course so many of us have. Black women on this side. Black men on that side and we go at it. Let the blaming begin. Well I am sick of it.

What’s even worse is that Black media is now in on it too. FYI: Black women are single for various reasons. Have you ever thought that some of the single sisters are not looking to be involved at the moment? Or what about the fact that a lot of Black women are married?  I know a lot of Black women who are married. I happen to know a lot of Black men who love and respect Black women. Furthermore, this media assault would lead one to believe that all white, Asian, Latina and non-Black women are docile and submissive and that they possess ALL the traits of an ideal women. Puhleez. I’ve seen some of those women letting their men have it-in public. No race or gender is monolithic and no race of women is perfect. Don’t fall victim to the media. Don’t let them allow us to pic each other apart and turn on each other.

March is Women’s History Month. That means the next three weeks on cleverspeasks.com will have a lot to do with celebrating all things feminine. So I’m asking everybody who reads this to leave a comment about your love and appreciation for Black women. Whether it’s your mother, grandmother, aunt, wife, girlfriend, boss, co-worker, neighbor etc., tell us what you love about us. Tell us how awful your life would be if we disappeared. Sisters you are not excluded from this. We have mothers, grandmothers, best friends and mentors as well. If you canNOT find anything positive to say about Black women then I reiterate; the crime is “Black Female Image Assault” and YOU are GUILTY!

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I recall being overcome with emotions as I would pass cotton fields in Alabama as I drove to school. I recall thinking of how many of my ancestors toiled that same blood stained land hundreds of years ago and how many of them hung from those very same trees I passed. It almost brought me to tears as I thought of the strange fruit Billie Holiday sang of. I’d get angry sometimes when I thought about how I may be the only one thinking this. Then I would shake it off and prepare myself for the tasks ahead of me.

I recall being completely overwhelmed with emotion in August 2005 when the levees broke in New Orleans and I saw images of helpless, forgotten Black people in pure survival mode. I saw Black people who were thrust into a position to fend for themselves as if they were animals stranded in the wild. I saw the elderly, children, men and pregnant women. I saw people. I saw them crying. I saw them trying to make it. I saw families separated. I saw them grieving for the loss of loved ones. I saw them hurting. I saw them persevering. I saw it and I wept. I saw it and I was mad as hell. I heard the media call them refugees. I wanted to fight someone. I wanted to curse somebody out. I went and volunteered at a shelter in Atlanta. That wasn’t enough. My brothers and sisters were hurting. The media and the government had to be reprimanded before they recognized them as people. Damnit Black people are people. Poor people are people. In 2008 why the hell do we still have to affirm that we are people too? We are human beings!

Amodou Diallo was a person. He was somebody’s son. He was sitting on his porch in 1999 minding his own business. He was being “obedient” when he was bombarded by the police. He went to pull out his identification and died because of it. He was met with a barrage of 41 deadly bullets. He died because he fit the profile of a Black “thug”. He was automatically a villain because he was Black. Now he is no more. Now he lives no more. He breathes no more. He is merely a historical reference to police brutality and judicial injustice in the United States of America. Sean Bell was somebody’s son. He was about to be a husband. He was a father. There is a black woman who is an unwed mother now. She is an unwed mother not because her man didn’t want to marry her. She is an unwed mother because her unarmed husband- to- be was killed by the police. Her daughter has no father not because he ran out. He was snuffed out. He was killed at the hands of the police. He will not be there to provide for his family. He will never hug his wife again. He will never play with his daughter. He’s dead. The young man, the human being is gone. He too is merely a historical reference of police brutality and judicial injustice in the United States of America.

Let’s not forget that our ancestors were considered to be chattel. They were not considered human. It eased the conscious of the oppressor if he convinced himself the atrocities he committed were being done to sub-humans. It’s one thing to hang a human being. It wasn’t so bad to hang, whip or castrate a nigger. In 2008 so many of us feel we have arrived. Have we? Sean Bell’s killers are free. Amadu Diallo’s killers are free. Should I run down the rest of our brothers who died this way? Their killers are free. So, are they too considered chattel? Does America’s heart bleed when Black men are gunned down? I couldn’t agree with Mos Def any more when he said “the length of Black life is treated with short worth.” The sad thing about it is that his statement applies to us too. Sean Bell’s killers included Black men. I didn’t start writing this to go into details about the tragic incident. If you didn’t read about it I ask that you take time to find out more. However, I do have to add that after the 50 shots were fired it was reported that Mr. Guzman, the passenger in the car, leaned across Mr. Bell with his bloody arms extended in a gesture of surrender. Mr. Bell was slumped back and lay there mortally wounded. Yet the lead detective ordered that both men be handcuffed despite their deteriorated medical conditions. Where is the humanity in that? So they mistakenly thought Bell and Guzman were armed when they shot at them 50 times. After the policemen emptied their guns at these young men, these people, and walked over and saw them half dead, how much of human beings did they consider them to be if they ordered defenseless people to be handcuffed? How much did they value their lives? Did they still feel their own lives were “in danger?” Did they feel the victims were so dangerous that even as life was leaving Mr. Bell’s body he still belonged in handcuffs? Were they thinking about his future being gone? Were they thinking about his family? Did he remind these officers of their sons and brothers? Or did he remind them of this American image of Black men as thugs?

Yet, I can’t end this piece without addressing that on the other side of the law lies our responsibility as Black people. For my brothers who are holding it down, taking care of themselves, their women and children, I applaud you. For the brothers who turned their lives around, I applaud you and I have your back. But for my brothers who have internalized this thug mentality I am mad as hell at you. The numerous murders of Black people in Chicago are at the hands of other Black people. The numerous murders of Black men in Philadelphia are at the hands of other Black men. Tears land on my keyboard and anger and frustration fill my heart as I think of this. The conditions of this society are hard no doubt. There are so many wrong choices that are easily available to a Black man growing up in the inner-city. But it is time to pause. It is time to think. It is time to regroup and reroute. This façade of being the hardest has to end. There are people who care. There are people who are trying to help. Chasing after instant gratification has to stop. The right way isn’t always the fastest or easiest way. It is time for Black men to realize how valuable their own lives are! It is time for Black men to think long term. It is time to realize the long term effects of murder. It is time to stop thinking that if you kill a Black man it is no big deal. Raheem’s life is just as valuable as Raymond’s and we better start to realize that. Until we do, the police, both white and Black will continue to gun down our men with no repercussions. After all, if we are gun toting thugs who easily kill each other doesn’t that give the cops the right to fear us-so they say? Diallo and Bell probably would have been shot by another Black man anyway right? Come on people. Anybody else angry?

We have to do better. We have to become proactive. Our reactions have to be more powerful. We have to unite. We have to educate our children and each other. We must also talk to our brothers about how to respond when stopped by the police. Everyone can do something. If you are frustrated leave me a response. If you are frustrated talk to people around you and come up with things you can do no matter how big or small. When these things happen we can’t just watch it on the news then forget about it. My heart goes out to the family of Sean Bell and to the families of all Black men who died at the hands of police brutality. Let’s all do our part to bring about change.

Power concedes nothing without demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have the exact measure of the injustice and wrong which will be imposed on them.

Frederick Douglass

History books and a Monday off in January have reduced Dr. King solely to be a man who had a dream. Yes, everyone knows that he had a dream. Most know that he wanted to see the day that his children would not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. However, there are many positions he took that the media doesn’t want us to know about. They make sure to recycle the same sound bites over and over again and mold our image of him as this safe, meek, peace maker. History books will have you to believe he was viewed as an American hero. They would like for us and our children to believe that he played it safely and was met with no opposition.

It is very problematic when we allow others to define history for us. We end up only knowing what they want us to know. See, for those of us who do not know, Dr. King was a very complex man. Yes, he wrote soul-stirring speeches and he marched and fought for racial equality. However, he also championed causes that were not quite as popular. Throughout his life his views began to shift and change as often do the views

of great thinkers and doers. He was a man with convictions. As he witnessed life happen in America his convictions grew stronger and he was not afraid to follow them. Near the end of his life he had lost the support and backing of Washington, and many white and Black Americans. He spoke out openly against the war in Vietnam. He was labeled a communist. He grew increasingly frustrated with the lack of progress in the quest for racial equality in America. He was assassinated in Memphis where he was to attend a second strike for Black sanitation workers. He was certainly not out to win a popularity contest and if he were alive today he would not be deemed politically correct. Face it. Dr. King had radical views. I caution people to never allow mainstream media to be the medium that gives US our history or define who WE are. Look how long and hard of a struggle it was to get an MLK holiday. Here in Virginia we had “Lee, Jackson, King day from 1984 to 2000. He had to share a holiday with two confederate generals. Nice huh?
So here lies the problem. In addition to us not taking responsibility and doing all that we can collectively and individually to help our communities; we are waiting for a leader who does not exist. We are waiting for a watered down version of the truth. True leaders like Dr. King are not always popular and loved by all. They are not crowd pleasers. Dr. King did not help change this country by doing what was safe. He made changes by doing what was right and what was needed. We cannot allow other people to define our leaders. We will doubt the ability and sincerity of local grassroots leaders. We will doubt the abilities of ourselves as leaders because no one can measure up to this partial portrayal of the good, safe hero who had a good, safe dream.

On this day of commemoration please take the time to reflect upon this complex man and all that he stood for. Let’s honor him by not being selfish. Let’s honor him by being more involved our communities and the world. Let’s honor him by picking up a book and finding out exactly who he was.

 
I’m just reiterating what they told us. In a nutshell Black men aren’t worth a damn. Attractive and accomplished Black women can’t even get a Black man. And if you’re thinking of following Oprah’s advice to begin dating outside your race, forget about that too! According to this panel of ladies the white guys will flirt but not much more. They don’t want to take you home to mama. You are taboo and not as coveted by other races as the Black man is. So sisters, if you’re seeking marriage I guess you need to start re-routing your energy. Take a yoga class, learn how to knit, hit up the SPCA and go ahead and get your first cat. I mean you’re going to end up being an old cat lady after all right? Or you can just learn to accept jump off status or lady on the side. I mean after you worked hard to earn your degree or degrees, after you’ve opened up your own business, or after you made it far enough just to get up and go to work everyday and take care of your kids, just revert backwards. Why be the only one? That’s overrated right? Well, it at least seems to be unrealistic according to ABC News. I mean after you overcame heartache from giving your all to a relationship that failed this is what you have to look forward to. You got your self-esteem back on point but never mind. Only half of you can get married and that’s at the whim of these philandering Black men out here. Oh, wait, they did have Steve Harvey, the newest relationship guru to offer you a gleam of hope. Date old. Get with the older guys he said. They’ve exercised all their options so they will now be appreciative of a young woman like yourself. So there is hope afterall!

 
Ok, who’s buying that BULL? I’m not and I hope you aren’t either. I have seen and heard more white women than you know complain about not being able to find a good man. Is there a disproportionate amount of Black men in jail? Hell yeah. But does that mean YOU won’t get married? No. Do some Black men use the numbers game to their advantage? Yes. Do they all? No. Could they have had a similar discussion of frustrations in the dating world with a panel of white women. Yes. The frustrations may have varied somewhat but they still would have been there. Do we face unique challenges when it comes to dating and marriage as African Americans? You bet we do. Are they insurmountable? No! The problem is we keep letting other people tell us who we are. We are defining our situation through the eyes of others. I am not trying to say it isn’t rough out here for Black women and men when it comes to dating and marriage. But I will say this. The blaming and finger pointing has got to STOP.

 
If you ultimately want to end up with a Black man or a Black woman then we better start playing on the same team. We have to be for each other and not against each other. We must first learn to view each other as friends, as equals. Not competitors in a game. We better learn how to talk to each other and express ourselves. We better learn how to listen. So many of us did not grow up with an example of a flourishing marriage between our parents. Even more of us did not see a marriage or functioning relationship at all. So we have to find our way. We have to talk it out. We need to sit and build with a group of brothers and sisters about Black male/female relationships. Learn how to speak from an angle of progression instead of blame. We’ve all been hurt. By 25 nobody is willing to just throw their trust and feelings out there without a ton of caution. But if we learn how to cultivate true friendships with the opposite sex that is a start. Learn how to not always focus on how you can get over on the opposite sex. Sisters, value your brothers as friends. Brothers value your sisters beyond our bodies. Communicate as friends. Then it’s not so difficult to communicate as lovers. Don’t be afraid to read books by people who are qualified. Think about it. You had to take a class or go through some type of training to do your job efficiently. How is figuring out how to make love work any different? Read. Observe. Work on yourself.

 
Finally, I say guard your perspective. Always check the source when you hear things. If someone who continuously makes bad choices in the opposite sex is the one talking in your ear(even if it’s your mother or father) stop listening to him or her. If someone who has no clue about the Black experience is giving you statistics on Black relationships…well you know that just doesn’t make sense at all. Since when has the media contributed to us seeing positive images of ourselves? Why don’t we ever see a panel discussion with happily married Black women or men? Because they want us to think that concept is as elusive as four leaf clover. I think they are succeeding. See, there was a time I would have agreed with those four ladies 100%. And even now I am not trying to say their experiences are not valid or real. But they are not the experience of every Black woman. I know a lot of Black women who are married to wonderful Black men. I think there is a trend happening where women in general are marrying older in a lot of cases. Not old, but older. We don’t know what those ladies statuses will be 3 to 4 years from now. I’ve seen love creep up on people for real. There is no need to doubt it will happen for you. Also, I can’t close without stating that I see a lot of Black men saying they desire to settle down. Again, we are not listening to each other.

While I hope to get comments from people dealing with all aspects of love I really want to hear from Black men who want to be committed and from Black women and men who have found a good spouse. I think those perspectives are often unheard. Just be optimistic sisters and brothers. Let’s work on how we communicate with each other and how we value each other. We need each other as brothers and sisters, as friends, as spouses, as guards of our children and communities. The changes start within our own minds and our own circles. I don’t know about you but ABC News will NOT define my reality.

**Clever is not currently seeking a husband but she does not believe there are no good Black men out there nor does she believe she will never have one.**

Now let me get on to the topic at hand. Yesterday morning on my way to work I heard on the radio that Rihanna has a book coming out this summer called “Last Girl On Earth.” You’re wondering why that’s a big deal right? Well, they said the book will consist mostly of pictures of the singer and that the retail price will be a whopping FIFTY DOLLARS. That is also the price I’ve seen online. However, you can special order it now on Amazon for $38. Ok this struck a chord with me because no book that I’ve read by Malcom, Marcus, Mandela, Huey nor any other revolutionaries or scholars cost that much. I was telling a friend of mine about this and his response to me was “Uhhh duhh. Sex sells!” Ok that may be the truth but now it’s time to insert the “Clever tangent.” While I am glad that books of more substance are priced more reader-friendly I am really frustrated at what this shows society values most. It’s like we’re telling our young girls if they are willing to take off their clothes and show their bodies they will get attention and people will pay for that. To hell with their minds. That’s exactly what they’re going to believe if we don’t teach them any better.

Now please don’t get me wrong. I do not subscribe to the theory that women should have to cover our bodies from head to toe. How could I because I don’t even abide by that. But while I was in the airport Sunday I saw a topless Rihanna on the cover of GQ magazine. Not hung up in an art gallery but in an airport convenience store. Come on now. What’s next? Make no mistake that I’m hating on Rihanna. I think she is a pretty girl and the people who control her look and image are milking her beauty for everything they can get from it. I mentioned this on Facebook and someone replied that they like the way Rihanna looks. Well that’s not the issue I posed. I never said she looked bad. It is her good looks that will allow her to sell a $50 picture book. It is her good looks and the mega-celebrity she attained that will cause impressionable young minds to want to be like her or to want to date women like her. Now I don’t know Rihanna personally but I do know what she portrays. To me it’s all about her look, not so much her talent. She’s like a machine that operates by other people pushing its buttons. However, she is a young sister and we’ve all been that age before minus all the fame and fortune. I just hope as she grows in age she will gain more control of her career and her image. I’m not saying she should become a fist pumping revolutionary or the spokesperson for female equality. I just hope she realizes the power and influence she has as a result of her celebrity and finds her own voice. But I won’t be mad at her if she becomes a revolutionary, feminist, fashionista either(currently laughing out loud).

But my final beef comes from my own personal experience that it is hard enough trying to get many of my people to read. I have even offered to pay people to read certain books to no avail whatsoever. So, if people pay $50 or even $38 to look at Rihanna’s body yeah, I’ll be kind of pissed. There are so many talented and inspirational people who give so much of their time, talent, knowledge, effort and hard earned money to provide the world with such uplifting literary works and people won’t pay $10 for it. Ok, I’m going to end this now because I know you’re rushing through this blog so you can go pre-order “Last Girl On Earth” for the low but if you buy it just remember I charge you to 38 hours of mentoring to at least two little girls and boys and at least a $10 purchase towards a book written by a Black author who is not a pop star!

So we arrive and the theater is packed. I mean packed to the point that we had to sit in the second row. I’m thinking “It just keeps getting better.” Well the movie begins with Precious’ wishes of having a light skinned boyfriend with real good hair and if you were taken aback or offended by that statement it becomes evident throughout the movie why she wished such a thing. In efforts to not give away the details I will simply say Precious lived a rough life. She was

abused by her father and her mother. She was poor and had two children while in high school. She was illiterate. She was overweight and she was dark-skinned. Her mother was on welfare and so was she. It was sad. There were scenes that made you mad. There were scenes that made you feel disgusted and there were scenes that made you want to cry.

It turns out that Precious’ saviors were all indeed biracial and I can’t defend that. I also cannot disagree with the critics that the movie focused on a dark side of the African-American community. I cannot disagree that we hear of such stories more often than not when it comes to Black people in the media. Welfare queens and teenage mothers; we’ve heard it all before right? Ok, yes we have but I must say Lee Daniels did an excellent job in telling this story. To my surprise it was very un-Tyler Perry like. The cinematography was good. It was creatively executed. It was more like art than I expected. It was a good movie regardless of the race of the main character. A lot of the critics were concerned about how Precious’ image would be received by white people. Can I deny the relevance of their feelings? I can’t because I totally understand. However, there were Black people upset with Chris Rock for making “Good Hair.” They said he aired our dirty laundry. His reply was something like he wishes he could make a movie where only Black people could go see it but he can’t. Precious artistically explores a dark issue in our community that actually occurs in all communities. Yet it’s nothing like the film B.A.P.S. or some other film that has no redemptive qualities. Yes, we already know about these issues Precious faced but it brought them to the forefront. It put them back in our faces. What I appreciated most was the way in which it was done.

I believe the critics would not have been so upset if Black women and Black people had more of a vast representation in the media. I understand them wanting more positive and varied characters. So what is a Black screen writer or director to do if he or she has a powerful story to tell that is not about an honor student? Here lies my comparison to W.E.B. Dubois’ Double Consciousness theory. I’m not being sarcastic. I’m very serious. If you know me then you know I am big on Black people being portrayed in a more varied perspective. But unfortunately we are put in a position of creating to please ourselves and others. If a white writer wanted to do a movie exposing prostitution, I doubt white people would be up in arms about it. Why not? They wouldn’t be upset because not many people would mistake it as a representation of ALL white women. Yet, African American artists are forced to climb a slippery slope with their creativity. For example, Common has referred to women as bitches in at least two songs I can think of. Yet his career spans almost two decades. The times he used the word were relevant to the story he was telling. Is he no different than Lil Wayne? Yes he is. He’s very different. However, if a person not well-versed in hip-hop heard those two songs they may not see the difference. This is no different than people that have not been exposed to African-Americans beyond the images they see of us in the media. So I think Precious the Movie kind of got stuck in a state of double consciousness. Lee Daniels directed a great film but it was about an uncomfortable topic. The accumulation of disgust with Black women being portrayed in a negative light may have made some people not appreciate the movie. Are the critics wrong? Are the people who see no problem with stereotypical Black characters right? Are white people laughing or pitying our overweight, fried chicken eating , poor parenting, Black selves? Should it even matter if they are? Who are we writing for? Who reaps the benefits and who pays the costs?

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Listen to this. Professor Devin Robinson, an economics professor at Oglethorpe University in Atlanta, GA will lead a one week long boycott against Non- Black Owned Beauty Supply stores this month. Robinson states, “Blacks make up 96% of the consumers of these stores, yet represent less than 5% of the retail ownership. The problem is with the distributors. Distributors are mainly Non-Blacks and they handpick who they will distribute products to. This oftentimes leaves aspiring black owners disenfranchised.” Also, as stated in my blog series, Black people spend billions of dollars annually on hair and hair care products which surpasses what we spend on tuition and medical care. That is alarming and ridiculous. If that didn’t move you then let me give you some more.

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**In 2000, approximately 36 million Blacks spent approximately $590 billion overall. However, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the revenue of Black businesses in 2002(data from the closest year available) took in only approximately $89 billion which is only 15% of that amount.

Now let’s do some comparisons:

In 2000, approximately 36 million Hispanics spent approximately $490 billion. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2002, the revenue of Hispanic businesses took in approximately $222 billion, which is 45% of that amount.

During 2000, approximately 11 million Asians spent approximately $209 billion. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2002 the revenue of Asian businesses took in approximately $326 billion, which is 155% of that amount.

During 2000, Whites spent approximately $6 trillion, 231 billion. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2002 the revenue of White businesses approximated $22 trillion which is 353% of that amount.

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I don’t know about you but I think those are some scary “in your face facts.” If that doesn’t cause you to think then I don’t know what will. Clearly it’s not just hair where we misspend our dollars. It’s rims, grills, clothes, cars and a host of other frivolous things. Many people of all races are guilty of overspending. But it has surpassed a problem and has now become an epidemic in the Black community. It is very important that we understand how we got here but it’s also time to start speaking and acting on how to get beyond here. At some point we have to rethink our priorities. At some point we have to recognize the benefits of thinking collectively at times rather than individually at all times. Why not start now?

If you want to do something about it here are some simple options.

Professor Devin Robinson will begin a national boycott against Non- Black Owned Beauty Supply stores from November 16th - 22nd and it will be highly supported by some of the country’s top Black Media. So that means go do some research and find the Black owned beauty stores in your area. Tell your family and friends about them. Patronize the hell out of them. Also, business owners must hold themselves to high standards with quality and customer service. Be sure to give your Black patrons the same respect you would give to whites who enter your store. Patrons respect our brothers and sisters the same way we respect non-Black establishments. We must work together. Think of the power we gain if our money stays within our own communities. Think of how much more proud and at ease you will be as a parent to encourage your son or daughter to aspire to own his or her own business when you know the community is behind it. Other cultures teach their children this all the time.

Finally, I encourage all of my Cleverspeaks.com family to visit our community forum and make use of the Empowerment Experiment forum. http://cleverspeaks.com/index.php/forum/support-black-businesses/. Post the Black businesses you know of in your area. Make people aware. Not just Black people but all people. Flood the forum. Flood Face book. Be willing to travel a little further and possibly pay a dollar or two extra. They walked a year and a day in Montgomery so that we could ride. So where do you stand? Are you one who will turn a blind eye? Are you a complainer who does nothing to help bring about change? Or are you willing to take advantage of the opportunities you have to help bring about change? Or, are you one who creates solutions to this billion dollar problem? You have to fall in line somewhere and only you can decide if you’re in the front or the back. Stop waiting for Obama and change yourSELF.

**(spending and population data is from the Selig Center for Economic Growth, Terry College of Business, The University of Georgia; July 2008 issue).

Boycott info:
http://yourblackfashion.blogspot.com/2009/10/professor-leads-boycott-of-beauty.html

Empowerment Experiment:
http://www.ebonyexperiment.com/ Find out about a family that vowed to only support Black-owned businesses for an entire year.