In my mind, I always told myself “being a woman obviously means that you’re a female, but being a female doesn’t automatically mean that you’re a woman” - and this is what I see nowadays, a plethora of females are giving the hard-working, strong, intelligent, independent and faithful women a bad reputation. It’s somewhat disrespectful to me to hear some females use the term “women” when speaking of themselves, they are far from it and they believe that since they are physically attractive, somehow this means that they are real women…they are not synonymous.

And a lot of the brothers make it worse because they flock to them like ants eating crumbs. Giving them more of a reason to feel like this is the way to carry themselves.

The media looks at a few Black girls and characterizes the entire Black Women population by the ones they’ve encountered. The anger I used to have stemmed from the women that gave the media this silly idea of believing all Black Women are uneducated, non-supportive, materialistic, lip smacking and loud talking.

So my frustration is not born from being hurt by a girl/woman, failed relationships, etc. It’s born from seeing the paradigm of black women become falsely advertised by not only the media, but from our own black brothers and sisters.

But, I love Black Women to death…I really don’t know what I would do without them. I’ve befriended them, I’m there for them, I understand them and one day I expect to marry one of them. As a child until 2007, I watched my parents marriage last 35 years up until my Mother passed away, so it’s something I always wanted and, I’ve always had a strong sense of what a woman is supposed to be like so anything opposite has always bothered me, but I understand why a lot of girls are they way they are…and that’s where revolution comes in.

It is my conscious opinion that it is important to understand that guilt by association or teaching due to environment has not released us as a culture from wrong doing. However, how can one be truly guilty when they were the student and trusted those teaching. Unfortunately, the way we have chosen to teach is through the anger of becoming conscious minded in the understanding that women are beyond this taught image.

Those who have been taught through history, to have the image of women embedded in the minds as the many deceptive names we are called and thought to be, are groomed from birth that women are inferior through the very biblical teachings that are said to be our road map to life. This is said to be the book of our journey and way to heavenly places. Indeed, must we hold the image of God accountable. His image, written and scripted, in BIG RED BOLD LETTERS, as the words directly quoted from his mouth.

Our first struggle as women, in my opinion, is indeed initially external by teaching, then internal, by way of external penetration.

What we are seeing now, in my opinion, is that not even teaching, can penetrate the conscious mind by what our true purposes are in this life. The awakening has inspired the internal struggle and because we, as women, have been taught to be nurturers, and it is generational, we have evolved into nurturers and it is apart of our DNA.

The nurturer in all women, is her first woman, and she is in a struggle with her conscious woman because, she is feeling a loss. The loss is that she will be leaving the nurturer behind and she has not been groomed to do this. Just as a mother nurtures her child, she continues to love the first woman and it is hard to let go.

This, of course, is why men view women as having what appears to be Bi-polar or Tri-polar in some cases.

Although, I don’t totally, release men from their misogynistic point of views, I will give them a pass that is temporary for the purpose of evolution. They must evolve as a culture to see massive results of action and understanding. There are a lot of men who have started, but they always reach the point where they get stuck on their matter of fact teachings.

I say throw the book out of the window and start a new. We are continuing the journey of evolution which will never be completed. Revolution represents war by the strength of the word, but the results, most times are a stalemate. The reason being that war causes the reaction of protection. We are taught to protect ourselves when we are attacked.

I am not saying that the revolution is not necessary to raise attention for the possibility of change through radical measures, but pick your battles wisely.

I will stop here at the scratch of the surface and thank you letting me share my views.

Inspite of the fact that the media would have you believe that we are lazy and undereducated, we are always on the move and highly intelligent.

Inspite of the fact that some of our sons, and brothers disrespect us, we love and support our black men remaining loyal to the end.

And Inspite of the fact that “they” say that we will not find a good man and marry, I have found a great warrior for our people who would rather die a thousand deaths before he betrayed me, our family, and our people.

So you see, Inspite of what “they” would have you believe, I love being a Black Women

My wife, my sister, my mother and my daughter are the first black women that come to mind who are wonderful, supportive, beautiful, loving, intelligent, and very helpful to everyone they encounter. I can write a book about the women in our lives who make a difference every day in our lives and those around us.

The teachers (you know who you are), administrative staff, program directors, artists, students, and martial artists I encounter each and everday who happen to be women do all they can to uplift their community each and everyday.

I must point out my female friends who i work with and build with who always put a smile on my face.

I have yet to see this film myself. Part of my hesitation is that I am a therapist, and work with children and families within this context on a regular basis. It is often difficult for me to go into this kind of film (regardless the director or characters being portrayed) on a casual basis, as there are real stories and people that eccho in my mind. The story becomes quite real, and the emotional impact for me can be significant.

I would like to add some thoughts to the discussion (though this may be late). The current research on the rates of abuse among black and white families indicates that under like circumstances, black families are equally or less likely to be abusive towards their children than white families. I think this information is compelling because it speaks to the “double consciousness” theory you mention, and the lack of accurate representation we experience as a black community in film. Although we are statistically no more likely to be abusive, we have been portrayed as such. So, even though the story of Precious is as likley (or more) in a white family (in terms of unmet emotional needs, conflict, forms of abuse, etc), it has been made to appear the norm! The data would support black filmmakers to make a hundred “precious” movies a year, but the overwhelming systemic racism present in this society makes it difficult to produce even one. Fascinating. I think these films are necessary, and can be tools for change/action. We need to have “precious” films, we need “a princess and the frog” (albeit with some noted improvements), and we need to continue pointing out the inequities faced by our filmmakers. Thank you for your thoughts and writings!

I don’t think we should worry about the guys we’ve passed up. I’ve dumped and been dumped by quality guys. They shouldn’t be dump-proof just b/c they’re quality. All that matters is her right for you. If the answer is no, move along. This obsession with black women being “too picky” confuses me. In my experience, they’re not picky enough.

So in short, I would say, commit to good standards, get out there, and keep on looking til you find the one.