I could not let October pass without addressing Breast Cancer Awareness. At this point I wonder if there are any of us who do not know of someone that has been affected by this horrible disease. Whether it be our mother, aunt, sister, wife or friend we’ve seen someone go through it. We know of survivors and unfortunately we know of women who have lost their lives. I think it is a good thing that so much attention is being paid to the disease. However, despite all the media attention the fact still remains that breast cancer is still the leading cause of cancer death for Black women. We develop the disease at a younger age than white women and while white women are more likely to get the disease, Black women are more likely to die from it.

Why is it that we are more likely to die from it? Recent studies suggest that breast cancer might appear in a more deadly form among Black women. Yet, doctors and patients agree that the major reason was summed up by Morehouse Medical School President Dr. Louis Sullivan that “Minority women, particularly Black women, do not have sufficient access to breast cancer information or screening facilities.” The research indicates that breast cancer outcomes for African-American women might be improved by lowering the recommended age of initial screening from 40 years to 33 years, the age at which the percentage of African-American women who develop breast cancer is similar to the percentage of Caucasian women in whom the disease develops under 40 years of age.

Read the rest of this entry »

Do you ever find yourself awaking to your alarm clock with a feeling of disgust as you think about the tasks ahead of you? Are you bored with the monotony of your current routine? Have you ever done a fast forward in your mind to 10 years from now and thought “It’s got to get better than this!” Or are you content with your current routine but still feel there is more that you were put here for? Well, I’m writing this blog to encourage everyone to consider redefining your life and your goals. Now make no mistakes, I am not a therapist nor am I a financial planner. But I am a woman in hot pursuit of her passion. I don’t have all the answers but what I learn along the way I share freely. We are living in a time where working one job for 20-30 plus years and retiring comfortably is no longer a guarantee. For many people of my generation it no longer even seems to be an aspiration. There are still some careers out there that are pretty stable but so many of us received a rude awakening in the last two or three years when it came to employment. Here’s the deal…it’s time to step out on faith people and start silencing the voice inside that’s telling you “You can’t get anywhere doing that. Are you crazy?” I’m challenging everybody to sit down and listen to the other voice, the feeling, the desire to be a jewelry designer, to start that non-profit organization, to open that business, to open that barber shop and make use of your talents and passions.I see it going on all around me. This month my best friend had her grand-opening for her personal training business. It all came into fruition within half a year. She decided she was going to do it. She applied for the materials to take the test for her certification, she studied, passed the test, shopped around for a studio and BAM…next thing you know

Read the rest of this entry »

CNN’s Black In America 2 premieres this Wednesday July 22nd at 9pm EST. It is a two part special and the second part will air the next day at 8pm EST. Here’s the run down for those of you who are not familiar with the program. Part one of this program debuted last year around this same time. It was indeed a hot topic around the water coolers. CNN ran numerous advertisements claiming that “Black In America” was going to show a different andoverlooked perspective of what it is to be…Black in America. From the ads I got a sense that the network was going to attempt to show varied perspectives of the Black experience in the United States. I remember thinking… “What an incredible task for a program that’s going to run for only two days.” I was reluctant yet curious to see how they would do. Not to my surprise, they fell short of what I believe they promised. I would give Black In America Part 1 a grade of C minus. You may be wondering why this program is a blog worthy topic. Well, last year millions of viewers of all races tuned in to watch the show. Being that CNN promised to show the Black experience many people took that literally. Just as millions of people look at Black Entertainment Television and believe that because of its name the station accurately depicts what most Black people find to be entertaining. It’s very important that we have a strong sense of discernment when it comes to the media. The media, in all forms has helped reinforce negative stereotypes about Black people. It has continuously portrayed us a one-dimensional race. I believe we have started to accept these stereotypes and have even begun to internalize them as truths. In addition the rest of America and the world are shaking their heads wondering why in the hell we can’t seem to get it together.

Read the rest of this entry »

Initially there was not going to be a second blog this week. But I was inspired by the comments left by both the brothers and sisters on my previous entry. I came down a little hard on the brothers this time. But they owned up to what was true and made known the parts they disagreed with. I always love getting insight from Black men. It’s awesome when you guys open up to us. A valid point was made by one of the sisters as well. She said “Relationship 101″ should be a mandatory class taken in grade school. That is funny because friends of mine know that when/if I decide to be in a relationship the brother has to show me that he has taken and passed that exact course with nothing less than a B+. That has been my mantra for quite some time now. Show me the report card honey! But another important comment was made publicly on my site and similar ones were sent privately to me. The most important thing we can do for the young, Black & single dating scene is to LOVE OURSELVES! Self love is imperative and it’s the magic answer to the final exam in Relationship 101. You know like answering “C” on the S.A.T’s. There’s a high probability that if you love yourself and couple that with the love of a higher power then you will pass the class with flying colors.

Read the rest of this entry »

While I was at work today I was alerted by someone’s Facebook status that the Cosby Show had a 25 year reunion today on the Today Show. One of the first things I did when I got home was to go online & check it out. You just don’t understand…well, you probably do understand that the Huxtables were a monumental piece of my childhood. Rudy and I are the same age. I literally grew up with that show. Think what you want about Bill Cosby but it cannot be denied that he did a stellar job of showing white, Black & all of America that Black people get married, go to work and love and raise their children just like everyone else.

Read the rest of this entry »

 ATLANTA (AP) - It’s been two months since 2-year-old Cori pulled the gold stud from her left earlobe, and the piercing is threatening to close as her mother, Maggie Anderson, hunts for a replacement. It’s not that the earring was all that rare-but finding the right store has become a quest of Quixotic proportions. Maggie and John Anderson of Chicago vowed four months ago that for one year, they would try to patronize only black-owned businesses. The “Empowerment Experiment” is the reason John had to suffer for hours with a stomach ache and Maggie no longer gets that brand-name lather when she washes her hair. A grocery trip is a 14-mile odyssey.

“We kind of enjoy the sacrifice because we get to make the point … but I am going without stuff and I am frustrated on a daily basis,” Maggie Anderson said. “It’s like, my people have been here 400 years and we don’t even have a Walgreens to show for it.”

So far, the Andersons have spent hundreds of dollars with black businesses from grocery stores to dry cleaners. But the couple still hasn’t found a mortgage lender, home security system vendor or toy store. Nonetheless, they’re hoping to expand the endeavor beyond their Chicago home.

Read the rest of this entry »

So I’m sitting here writing this blog on Mother’s Day. I’m thinking about all the Black mothers who will not be able to see their sons on this day of celebration. The reason they won’t see them is not because their sons are away at college. It’s not because their sons moved out of state to start a new career. It’s not because he’s out of town with his wife and children. Too many Black women will not see their sons today because their sons are dead. Black mothers are grieving on this day and all year round because they lost their sons to the hands of another Black man. No hugs will be given. No flowers, no cards, no dinner, no jewelry, no “Mama I love you” will be heard. What they will have is a R.I.P t-shirt though. I mean they carried a child for nine months, nurtured him, raised him and sent him out into the world only for his life to be violently taken away for the most frivolous reason. What do they have to show for all their love & efforts? A damn t-shirt.

I met a brother who owned a print company. They print flyers and t-shirts. He told me two-thirds of his t-shirt sales are from bereavement shirts. It has become a part of our culture. Murder has become accepted and even expected in our communities. Death is celebrated and not in the way of our ancestors. I recall when I was in high school a friend of mine who had already survived a gunshot told me that if he dies all he wants is his t-shirt. He was 18 and I was only 17 at the time but I was speechless. Is this all that the life of a Black male amounts to? Is this what a Black woman is supposed to be content with after her son’s life is taken? They say there is no pain like the pain of a parent losing a child. Yet in many of our communities it is now commonplace. It seems that a young Black male may actually stand a better chance in Iraq than he does in his own neighborhood. I don’t know about you but my heart is heavy and I am mad.

Read the rest of this entry »

I am reposting this blog by request. Whether it’s your first time or a re-read I hope you enjoy it…

I have about an hour and a half left before I turn 30. 90 minutes before I say good-bye to a decade. The end of being a twenty something is basically here. Now don’t get me wrong. That is a good thing because if we’re not growing older then we are not alive and it is indeed good to be alive. I was going to write this long elaborate blog that went through the events of my twenties. But I got half way through and was like “I’m really not feeling this.” I don’t want to bore anyone with all the juicy details of what went on in my twenties. I’m sure nobody wants to hear that. However, I will say that the funny part about it is that a lot of the juicy stories happened at 28 and 29. But things are back level now so don’t worry. Read the rest of this entry »

Many of you already know that I turned the BIG 3-0 in February and yes I am still rocking the hell outta 30! Along with many things that I am happy and grateful for in the wake of crossing this threshold, some thoughts have been confirmed. I remember last year when I turned 29, I pondered over the fact that I was a 29 year old woman with no children. I even joked with my friends that I had until May to ensure that I didn’t become one of those first time mothers in her 30’s. Well, brothers and sisters that will be me. At this rate I could be a first time mother in my 40’s because currently I’m in no rush.

Yes, I will be one of those women who has her first child in her 30’s at least. Believe me I am very much okay with  this. Turning 30 has been liberating. So far 30 has been acceptance of life as it has come and looking forward to what’s in store. It feels very good too. Still, I notice that my choice of not yet having children seems to make me strange to quite a few people. It has caused me to receive threats from my mother. See, I’m an only child and she is not happy about the fact that I haven’t produced her any grandchildren. Last week she called to tell me that she will only be passing out Cleverspeaks.com flyers to potential son-in-laws down in ATL. Yeah, she’s real serious about this. Sorry Ma. I’ll have to hide this blog from her because it’s just not looking too good for her right now. It doesn’t stop there though. Last week a woman told me I might want to start freezing my eggs. Yup. Sure did. I’m like “Geez, I’m 30 not 60. I have been accused of being selfish and if you know me you know I am the complete opposite. I’ve been asked if I even like kids. Come on now. Like O.D.B. I’m for the children! Anybody who knows me knows that I love children. I also increasingly run into people who ask me if there is something wrong with me because I don’t have children. I have been asked if I am frigid, per se, but with much more “vivid” terminology. Finally, I get the scowls of “What are you waiting for?” or “Do you even wants kids?” Well, I’m not frigid, won’t conceive till I jump the broom someday and yes I DO want kids…eventually.

So, does this make me a Bald Eagle or some other rarely seen animal lurking around the U.S?

Read the rest of this entry »

Twice within the last year there have been two frightening instances involving teenage girls who I care for and know very well. Both involved Myspace and the girls behaving inappropriately and putting themselves in harm’s way. They had no idea of the severity of their actions. I know they made me angry and scared me half to death. There is so much danger out in the world for young girls and the internet has only magnified it. These occurrences got me to thinking about the state of young Black girls in America. Some of the statistics are jarring to say the least. It makes me wonder where did we go wrong and have we been as sensitive to their needs as we should?

In March 2008, the CDC reported that one in four teen girls has at least one of the group of common STDs which include Chlamydia, Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), genital herpes, gonorrhea and syphilis. Virginia state health statistics show that 2,620 girls ages 13-19 in the Eastern region were diagnosed with Chlamydia in 2007. That compares with 528 boys in the same age range (Virginian Pilot). This does not mean that teen boys are less sexually active. It is merely a fact of biology that it is easier for a female to contract an STD from a male partner. The CDC study also found that infection rates were higher among Black girls than whites and Hispanics. Nearly half of African American teen girls had an STD it reported. With all that said, have we indeed lost our little girls? Have we forgotten them? It seems that we have indeed failed them. Over the past few decades a lot of well-deserved attention has been paid to the plight of Black men and boys. It seems that at the time the Black male plight was being identified as urgent, Black women and girls were still holding it down. The factors that were holding our young boys and men under siege had not seemed to penetrate into the hearts and minds of our girls. However, the problems that plagued our community have grown and changed throughout the years and our girls became just as susceptible as our boys.                                                     

Who are our girls? Well, they certainly are much more than numbers quoted by the CDC. They are our daughters, sisters, nieces, cousins and neighbors. They are often called cute and feisty when they are little. When they begin to prematurely develop hips, butt and breasts along with the feistiness, they often lose the cute title and become labeled as fast or grown.                                                                                                                                                      

Read the rest of this entry »